Part 1:
The main idea that I had when I began saving pieces to my blogger site was my life and my family. I think that family is a very important part of life and I wanted to choose pieces that would reflect that. I have a piece about Spanish because it has been such a big part of my life and that of my family. Many of my family members have taken Spanish. I’m also teaching my son to speak Spanish. Therefore, I consider it to be part of my family.
The first piece of writing that I posted was a reflection exercise that we did during one of the demonstrations. We were supposed to write something that reflected our life. I wrote about Spanish and traveling. I called it “A Life of Español.” During my writing of this piece I tried to make my voice come through in the writing. I wanted it to be a very short biography of one part of my life.
My second piece was “Another Family Trip.” I came up with this story from a picture that showed a family in an old car. We were supposed to choose a picture that spoke to us and then write about it. This was such a classic picture that I couldn’t pass it up. I really worked on using voice & character development in this piece. I tried to show the perspective of a young girl.
The third piece that I chose was about my grandma. My grandma has been my role model and she is very special to me. She was also a teacher just like me. I tried to keep in mind the tips for using more description in writing that we learned this summer. I wanted the memories and emotions that I felt during summers at my grandma’s house to come through in my writing.
My final choice for a blog was a conference proposal to SCCTE 2008. This final piece is an abstract about my demonstration. I enjoyed making my presentation and I thought that this would be another forum I could use to talk about it. I had some trouble narrowing my focus about the information I covered. There are so many things that I normally do to teach this lesson that it was a little difficult condensing it all. However, I believe that I achieved my goal by actually minimizing my descriptions and choosing my words carefully.
Part 2:
I made several changes to “A Life of Español,” because of feedback that I received. Frankie Mengeling thought that I should give more examples of why Spanish is such an interesting language. That’s why added more examples such as “the wonderful grammar & verbs, the mystery of the language itself, and the cultual differences that encourage diversity in our own nation.” I also received advice from Cathy Murphey about putting in more concrete imagery, but I wasn’t able to do too much with that. I tried to put a little more description, and added more to already existing sentences.
I received several comments from people about my story “Another Family Trip.” Most of the comments were positive. The main advice that I received was that I should keep expanding the story. I was also told to maintain my dialect throughout the story. I decided to go back and make sure that the accent of the little girl was maintained throughout the story. There were some words that I had taken “g’s” off of while I had left it on others. I was also advised to use more descriptive words, so I went back and wrote a much more descriptive account of the car and the people in it. I really tried to keep in mind what I have learned about voice this summer.
The advice that I was given for my third piece about my grandma was by Claudia Swisher, and she said to use more descriptive detail about the type of pajamas and the memories. Mike Rush wrote that I should give more description about my grandma so that the reader could get to know her better. I took both of their advice and added more description. I tried to think back to the lessons that we had this summer about descriptive writing. I was much more specific about the color and type of pajamas. I also added more memories and description of my grandma: “She was our teacher and mentor when we needed it, and sometimes even when we thought we didn't. A church-going lady that donates her time and skills to help those in need. Mellow and sweet, spending time with her is a treat.” I love and respect my grandma very much and I think I was able to relay that even better when I added more description.
I was given advice by Brian Slusher about my professional piece. He said that I needed to give more description about improving empathy for foreigners. I decided to change the questions that I asked at the beginning of my abstract and change the wording that I used. I wanted to portray how important the acceptance of cultural differences are. Claudia Swisher thought that I should try to change my wording so that I could entice both English & History teachers. I tried to show how both subjects related to my demonstration. I did this by changing my introduction paragraph.
I cut and changed all of my pieces, some more than others. Hopefully I have come closer to a better end product.
Part 3:
The three most important things that I want to remember about writing are: good description, lots of character development and a good use of voice. I believe that all three of these things are important because they are what make a story really come alive for the reader. Without good description, character development and voice a story will not go very far or unfold very well. The story will also be a lot less interesting with the above characteristics undeveloped.
I learned from my classmates writings how to be more descriptive. Cathy Alden is a great descriptive writer. Her piece on “Colors of My Canvas” was very descriptive. I could just see the flowers and the clay bank as the sun rose. She does such a great job at description. I tried to keep descriptive words in my mind as wrote my own pieces.
I think that Rebecca Smith has great voice in her story “One Day.” She draws the reader in right away. Her mother’s voice is very clear and makes for an interesting read. Her voice is also very descriptive. There were only a few word choices problems that I wrote about for her piece. I’ve tried to use bette voice with my own characters in my writing as well, and hopefully I've been half as successful as she has.
Natalie Belt did a short story called “Sunny Summer Afternoon.” I thought that she had good character development even though she didn’t have a lot time in the story to do it. I could feel the sadness of her little boy as he tried to hit the baseball. Although I guessed ahead of time that he would finally be successful, it was still a cute story. The only problem that I e-mailed her about was just a few grammatical things. I tried to use character development especially in my family story. I wanted people to really hear my young girl’s voice.
All of my classmates are talented in writing in their own way. I have just chosen a couple that stand out in mind.
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